"Jake has carefully categorized our guests. Ordinary people, friends he sees frequently, get the bear when they show up at the door, the ragged, chewed-up teddy bear.
New people? They get the pink Easter Bunny, right after he shakes the stuffing out of it and slams it on the floor a few times.
But special people? People who might be bearing dog treats? They get the "Bear in the Bag." This is a mint-condition, black-and-white Panda bear Jake got for Christmas. Since he's mangled most of his other toys, I forbid him to take this one out of its bright red gift bag. The ribbon still holds the paper handles together at the top, so he can't actually get his teeth on the bear, just the bag. So the "Bear In the Bag" has become the highest honor bestowed on guests, once. No treat, and you can count on getting that stupid bunny the next time."
~The Dog Rules (Damn Near Everything!) William J. Thomas
[When no one else can make you laugh, try reading William Thomas. Available in The Neat L'l Bookshop. ~ lbw]
www.williamthomas.ca
