"When she rises up, she gets confused!"
Washington Post, 1983, when the wife of the Canadian Ambassador meets President Reagan.

"Before we met the president in his Oval Office they took us to another room, where some anxious young men told us where to stand, how long to speak and when to shove off.  They told me that only Mr. Ambassador (that's what the Americans call my husband) was to have his photo opportunity with the president, in front of the fireplace.  Wife of Ambassador was supposed to move away from the fireplace and out of camera range.
Well, you know how they used to describe me at home:  "When she rises up, she gets confused."  After the handshake I backed into the camera crew.  Some of the young men began to hiss at me, but the president grabbed my arm and insisted I be in the picture too.  I really didn't want to have my picture taken with the president because I know my hair looked like corkscrews.  But I didn't have enough time to tell the president about this hairdresser with the gold chains who had just given me the worst permanent in my whole life and that it was going to be weeks before I was photographable."

~ Sondra Gotlieb (b. 1936) Canadian journalist, novelist, lives in Toronto, Ontario. When I Rises Up, I Gets Confused!  The Best of Sondra Gotlieb. McArthur & Company 2004.

"THERE'S AN EXPRESSION I HEARD in Newfoundland that accurately describes my 15 months in Washington:  "When I rises up, I gets confused."  For me, this can happen merely getting out of bed in the morning and not knowing what to do next...
"Thinking I was alone in the house, I ran outside one early, cold January morning to retrieve the Sunday papers.  The door slammed behind me and locked.  I proceeded mindlessly down Massachusetts Avenue in my housecoat and slippers, heading, I hoped, toward our chancery, only a brisk half-hour walk away.  The butler, who had been watching my activities from inside, dressed himself and ran after me to save me and my country from shame."

[Sondra Gotlieb, winner of The Stephen Leacock Award for Humour, published some of her best columns in When I Rises Up, I Gets Confused!]