From Charles Dickens Great Expectations ~

"Once it had seemed to me [Pip] that when I should at last roll up my shirt-sleeves and go into the forge, Joe's prentice, I should be distinguished and happy.  Now the reality was in my hold, I only felt that I was dusty with the dust of the small coal, and that I had a weight upon my daily remembrance to which the anvil was a feather. . .
"What I wanted, who can say?  How can I say, when I never knew?  What I dreaded was, that in some unlucky hour I, being at my grimiest and commonest, should life up my eyes and see Estella looking in at one of the wooden windows of the forge.  I was haunted by the fear that she would, sooner or later find me out, with a black face and hands, doing the coarsest part of my work, and would exult over me and despise me.  Often after dark, when I was pulling the bellows for Joe, and we were singing Old Clem, and when the thought how we used to sing it at Miss Havisham's would seem to show me Estella's face in the fire with her pretty hair fluttering in the wind and her eyes scorning me ~ ..."

~ Charles Dickens, English writer, critic. (Feb. 7, 1812 - June 9, 1870) Great Expectations,  The Franklin Library